Curiosity as a Diagnosis

For years, I knew something was wrong.

Not in a dramatic way. In a quiet, persistent, easy-to-dismiss way. The kind of wrong that gets labeled stress, or anxiety, or just being sensitive. The kind of wrong that gets a shrug and a pamphlet and a "let's check back in six months."

I recently received diagnoses of PCOS and Endometriosis.

I am not writing this for sympathy. I am writing this because I know I am not the only one who spent years feeling like my body was speaking a language no one around me would learn.

The Gap Is Real, and It Is Not Your Fault

Here is something that does not get said enough: what is happening to women in these appointments is not random. It is structural.

Until 1993, it was both normal and acceptable for drugs and vaccines to be tested only on men. The findings were then applied universally, as if female hormones, cycles, and biology were simply minor variations on a standard template. Women make up 60 percent of the patient population but only 42 percent of clinical trial participants. We are being treated with data that was never built around us.

And the conditions that affect us most are getting the least attention. Research funding for endometriosis translates to roughly two dollars per patient per year. Two dollars. For a condition that begins, on average, in adolescence.

But here is the part that never makes it into the statistics: what happens in the waiting room during all of those years.

Girls and women are told their pain is a normal part of having a period. They are handed a prescription for hormonal birth control, often without any explanation of what is actually happening in their body, what the medication is doing, or what it might be masking. Research shows that birth control can suppress the very symptoms that would otherwise lead to a diagnosis, meaning women can go years without realizing those symptoms are pointing to something real.

This is not a failure of individual providers. Many of them genuinely do not have the training. Research consistently shows that one of the biggest barriers to diagnosis is encountering physicians who lack sufficient knowledge of these conditions. The gap exists in the education system long before it reaches the exam room.

Which is exactly why patient advocacy and self-education are not optional extras right now. They are the gap-fillers. The women who finally get answers are, overwhelmingly, the women who learned enough to ask the right questions, to push back on a dismissal, to find a provider who would actually listen. Research confirms that women describe benefiting significantly from self-advocacy and self-education about their conditions when the medical system failed to provide answers.

That is not how it should work. But it is where we are. And until the research catches up, having someone in your corner who knows the right questions to ask is one of the most powerful tools available to you.

The Shift That Changed Everything

After leaving countless appointments feeling more confused than when I walked in, I recognized a pattern. I was either the crazy one, or this was a mission I was going to have to tackle alone. I knew my body was not ok. And I was tired of feeling like there were no solutions. So I started looking for them myself.

I started researching. I listened to experts in hormone health and women's physiology. I learned how cycle phases affect energy, mood, and cognitive function. I learned how inflammation shows up in the body long before it shows up on a standard panel. I started asking different questions, and eventually, I found providers who were willing to ask them too.

For me, curiosity meant permission to explore. To research possibilities that might lead to real answers. To stay open minded while going deep. It did not feel like a strategy at the time. It just felt like the only option I had left. And it changed everything about how I understand my own body, and eventually why I started doing this work.

What I Want You to Take From This

If you have been told this is just how it is, given birth control with no explanation, or had your symptoms written off as anxiety or depression: stay curious.

You are not dramatic. You are not oversensitive. You are a person living inside a complex, intelligent system that is constantly communicating with you.

Curiosity is not just a mindset. In the context of your health, it is an act of self-advocacy. It is the thing that keeps you asking the next question when the first answer does not feel complete. It is what podcasts, communities, and coaches exist to support, because right now the system is not set up to do it for you.

Your body has been trying to tell you something. It is worth learning to listen.